Monday, November 1, 2010

An Interlude: Foodbuzz Fest & Some Rules

Knock, knock. Anybody there? I'll be in San Francisco Thursday through potentially  Tuesday for Foodbuzz Fest and a side of harassing my dear friends. I have tons to take care of before then, so unfortunately I won't be posting anything this week unless I manage to whip something up in my friend's kitchen or I decide I just have to share something with you. I'll provide you will something extra special when I get back--I promise. In the meantime, you can find me over on Twitter this next week, where I will be happy to harass you instead of taking care of my business. And tweeting fun food things from San Francisco.

For those of you who are attending #fbzfest, please come say hi if you see me around. I made a big round button that is red and white and says, "HELLO my name is the baking barrister." I'll be wearing it so people don't have to squint at my conference badge and make me feel like they're staring at my chest. That always annoys me...

I'm going to leave you with a few rules on how to handle The Baking Barrister should you come into contact with said being. Don't ever tell me that I didn't warn you.

1. I bite. If you're afraid, approach me with a cookie and I'll bite that instead.

2. If it looks like I'm scowling or in a bad mood, I'm not--I'm probably just overwhelmed by the hordes of social interaction. You people are too peppy for me.

3. In that vein, don't ever tell me to smile. I'll bite you.

4. Sometimes the best response is to just smile and nod your head. Walk away slowly, though, as barristers bite when frightened.

5. I pick up strays. Well, non-obnoxious people who don't know anyone and clearly need to be included. If I do that to  you, I probably won't bite you. I, however, will bite those who are mean to the strays.

6. Please don't hug me if we're not Twitter BFF's. It'll freak me out. See Rule 1, Sentence 1.

7. It's called sarcasm. It's my natural state of being. I'm not being mean, I'm being funny


Please note that by approaching me you accept the risk of being bitten and waive all potential legal claims stemming from such occurrences. California law applies. 

25 comments:

sara @ CaffeIna said...

I just laughed soooooo hard at this post! I will probably be one of those strays you mention in point 5. I don't do well with big crowds...will you come and pick me up and include me? I promise in exchange I will teach you to bark (or barr) in Italian :)

Kim said...

LMAO!

Too funny. This makes me want to be at FoodBuzz Fest even more. *sigh* Sadly, I can't be and instead I'll be home enjoying the Twitter goodness from Sin City. I hope you have a blast.

Ben said...

Are we Twitter BFF's?

Shelly Borrell (Nibbles of Tidbits) said...

I love it -- Too funny!! I'm starting to appreciate that no one knows me :) Hope to meet you without needing a cookie, hahaha.

Shelly

the actor's diet said...

looking forwad to meeting you!

Jessie Bea said...

Bahahaha I love/live by #7. I wish I could wear a sign saying that.

"I'm not being mean to you, I'm being FUNNY, darnit! Now would be a good time to laugh."

A Thought For Food said...

1. I bite. If you're afraid, approach me with a cookie and I'll bite that instead.

Me too... we'll be besties!

2. If it looks like I'm scowling or in a bad mood, I'm not--I'm probably just overwhelmed by the hordes of social interaction. You people are too peppy for me.

If I look like I'm scowling, I'm probably drunk.

3. In that vein, don't ever tell me to smile. I'll bite you.

Smile... bite bite.

4. Sometimes the best response is to just smile and nod your head. Walk away slowly, though, as barristers bite when frightened.

I'll just bite back.

5. I pick up strays. Well, non-obnoxious people who don't know anyone and clearly need to be included. If I do that to you, I probably won't bite you. I, however, will bite those who are mean to the strays.

I'm not obnoxious, though I'm not a stray either... so bite away!

6. Please don't hug me if we're not Twitter BFF's. It'll freak me out. See Rule 1, Sentence 1.

No hugs... just bites.

7. It's called sarcasm. It's my natural state of being. I'm not being mean, I'm being funny.

Sarcasm is the only sense of humor in my world... and by that, I mean the gay world.

apiciusapprentice said...

I knew there was a reason I loved this blog! You crack me up and I love your sense of humor!! Have a blast, and I can't wait to hear the adventures unfold over Twitter.

stephchows said...

HA love it and hope to see you there even if you do bite LOL. I'm a magnet for strays too! It's more fun when you get them all together!

bb's mom said...

to those bakers in the group (and you know who you are)BB would prefer white chocolate macadamia cookies as her mother does not bake them!


BB's mom

Stephanie @ Per l'Amore del Cibo said...

LOL, classic. Reading this post makes me wish I was going. Sigh. Have fun!

whatsfordinneracrossstatelines said...

So you won't be offended when I run up and give you a big hug! Awesome, I'll bring the cookies!
-Gina-

Jean said...

Too funny! Looking forward to meeting you. :-)

RhodeyGirl said...

Can't wait to meet you! Please don't bite me!

Foodiva said...

Looks like your bark is worse than your bite! LOL. Some people are already asking for verification whether they're your Twitter BFFs because they don't want to be bitten when they try to hug you ;-). Have loads of fun at the Foodbuzz Fest!

Megan said...

I am going hug you and you are going to like it.

Rachel said...

lol - you crack me up! Sorry I won't be there to give you cookies & avoid being bitten (I'm a reformed biter myself). Hope you have fun and post lots of photos of the noms!

Monet said...

Send my love and hugs to all that attend! I wish I could be there to meet you! Maybe next year.

Elisabeth said...

You are too funny. Just found you on Twitter...no, we are not BFF...I'm stalking you now on your blog...will not bite you!
Have a wonderful time at the Foodbuzz Festival...so sad I can't be there, too far away, too many financial obligations right now!
Want to hear all the updates, photos, tweets, and want to know if anyone freaked you out, bit you, hugged you. Lucky for you I will not be there, otherwise would have done all that!

Jun Belen said...

I'm confused whether I can hug you or not. I'm not sure if you consider me a Twitter BFF already.

The Cuisinerd said...

I love that you made a Hello My Name is sticker!! I had 500 Cuisinerd Stickers made, so depending on who wants to sport them, that would make tracking me down a little like where's waldo. Heck that sounds even more fun - who wants a sticker!?

See you this weekend!

Angie's Recipes said...

I wish I could attend the party....

Lindsay and James Cotter said...

Oh I love your sarcasm!! This is my kind of interaction!

heartbreak pie said...

"I'm not being mean, I'm being funny" --> amazing. Have fun!

Mark said...

Hey FoodBuzz friend! I love your blog! LOVE the attitude! Sarcasm is my first language. Keep up the good work. Visit my blog sometime.

Mark

Post a Comment

NOTE: I understand that Blogger is currently having issues with its commenting system. If the comment box or Captcha do not show up, or you experience other problems, please e-mail me with your browser version, whether your Java is up-to-date, and whether you are on a Mac or PC. Please feel free to send your comment my way as well--I appreciate them all and I'm sorry Blogger hates us right now.


Thank you for indulging my narcissistic tendencies and leaving a comment. My ego sincerely appreciates it. As a quick note before you leave me accolades and ask for my hand in marriage, if you need a question answered promptly, you're better off sending an e-mail or a tweet. My computer is all fancy-like and beeps at me when you do.